Editor's note: This is the personal account of a young woman who was recently helped
by LifeSavers Ministries. Her name has been withheld at her request.
In August last year I went to a hotel for two days to think and contemplate my decision on
having an abortion. I was 13 weeks pregnant. Even though I knew it was wrong, I made
an appointment and kept trying to convince myself by thinking; "I'm not that far along for
it to even be a 'baby' yet. It probably isn't even formed yet. What's the big deal? I'll just
have the abortion and, hey, that will be that."
I thought it was probably for the best anyhow. My life was a total disaster. My husband
didn't care about me or the pregnancy (even though he wanted to start a family and now
that I was pregnant, he says he's not ready to be a father). He couldn't (or wouldn't)
provide a place for us to live. He was living with his parents, but I couldn't live there
because his mom despises me.
My "Christian" family in a sense disowned me because I chose to be with my husband;
they totally stopped talking to me once they knew I was pregnant. (I remember my sister
telling me: "Oh great, that's all the world needs is another Rick--you know if you have this
kid the family won't be too happy with you!") I couldn't take it anymore. I had no husband,
no family, and no job, all because I was pregnant.
On the night before my scheduled abortion, I tried to go to sleep but couldn't--I knew that
at 1:30 the next afternoon I would be having the abortion. My thoughts were so twisted. I
tried so hard to justify what I was going to do that I even prayed that night for God to help
me, and for him to know that I wasn't doing this because I wanted to, but because I had to.
I prayed "God, it's not like I got pregnant by mistake or got pregnant not being married." I
felt I had to have the abortion. I didn't want to have a baby from my husband if we weren't
going to be together. I felt that if I have the abortion, my problems will be solved (well,
most of them). My family wouldn't be upset with me, and I would be able to go back to
work.
At around 10:45 p.m., I turned on the radio on the T.V. (You know the ones they have at
hotels?) I was trying to get my mind off the abortion, but I couldn't. God wouldn't let me.
When I began fumbling through the stations, I paused for a while to listen to a talk show.
Lo and behold, it wasn't a talk show, it was a Christian broadcaster talking about abortion.
I thought "what?!?" So I listened for a while to hear what he had to say. He began
mentioning how abortion was a sin and how God hurts when the life of one of his
innocent creations is taken before they are even born. I quickly shut off the radio. I didn't
want to hear any more.
The next morning, I called the radio station I had been listening to, and talked to Judy
about my situation. Judy called Terri, asking if she could help me. Terri asked if she could
meet with me to talk it over. Later that day, she brought me to the LifeHouse, where I
talked and prayed with Terri and her husband Tim. Terri thought that Tim might be able
to talk some sense into Rick, so Tim and Rick went for a drive in Rick's new sports car.
Rick told Tim that he would get an apartment for us in a couple of weeks.
I missed my abortion appointment, but I hadn't really changed my mind yet. Terri said I
could stay at the LifeHouse until Rick and I got an apartment. Over the next few weeks,
Rick and I talked a lot. At times, it seemed that Rick might finally take responsibility for
me and the baby. But, when the time came to make a commitment to the landlord of an
apartment, he would put me off again and again! His last promise was that he would have
all his outstanding bills paid by the time the baby was born, then he would find us a place
to live and we could be a "real" family!
LifeSavers was willing to let me to stay at the LifeHouse, until the baby was born. I was
an emotional wreck. At the time when I really needed my family, I couldn't go to them
because they wouldn't help unless I divorced Rick, which believe me, was very tempting,
but I kept hoping "once he sees the baby, he'll change!" Several times over the next few
weeks, thoughts of having an abortion would pop in my head, but there was always a
"LifeSaver" around to talk to. Ann Feeley (who was the LifeHouse caretaker) and I
became close; I had a shoulder to cry on whenever I needed one. At times, I did feel a little
overwhelmed, because so many knew about me and I seemed to always have someone
wanting to know if Rick was coming around yet, but I know that everyone was truly
concerned.
On Wednesday, January 20, Ricardo Martinez III was born! What a sweet blessing he is!
As for his father, he still refuses to be a husband and father. "Little Ricky" and I are still
staying at the LifeHouse. However, I'm finally starting to receive some child support from
CSEA (the Child Support Enforcement Agency).
To summarize it all, I'd like to say that if it wasn't for LifeSavers, my baby wouldn't be
here, and I might not be here either. To Tim and Terri Palmquist, and all of you who
helped to keep the LifeHouse open over the last six months, my baby and I will always be
thankful. May God bless you for all you've done.
Your donations and prayers are needed so that the doors of the
LifeHouse will remain open for women in need.